Sticking with the subjects of sex and what motivates a couple to be a couple, I recall an incident from long ago when I had a part time job in a factory, as a student. At break time, we were sitting at a table next to the production line when one of the guys sat down and said, “Well boys, the Mrs. gave me a blow job last night.”
I was stunned. First of all, why would it even be worth mentioning? Was his sex life with his own wife so bad that a blow job was a rare enough event to be noteworthy? This was not an old guy. He wasn’t in his sixties. He looked about thirty or so. I would have thought that he and his wife would still be able to enjoy a healthy sex life. So much for the old argument that commitment gives you access to sex on a regular basis. I didn’t really feel any added incentive to settle down.
Secondly, and I’m sure any female readers are thinking “more importantly”, what kind of way was that to talk about his wife? What kind of guy would talk like that about his wife? Presumably, he married her for a reason. He decided to spend his life with her. He married her. That counts for something, doesn’t it? Or does it? Maybe it was just another of those “had to get married” marriages. I knew that story well.
He gave me more to think about and stuck in my head. Another example I didn’t want to turn out like. I didn’t want to ‘have to’ do anything, least of all get married. I didn’t want to regret or resent it, when the time came. I didn’t want to talk about my wife like that. And I certainly didn’t want to be married if it meant that getting a blow job was going to be one of the highlights of my year. I wanted to do it because I wanted to do it. I was in no great rush.