The Nuts Are Out

As convenient as online banking is, there is still the odd occasion when you have to go to the actual bricks-and-mortar bank and deal with an actual person.  One such occasion occurred the other day.  I set out, cheque in pocket.

Walking along Broadway, I heard a car horn and shouting.  I looked up the street and saw a drunk, stoned, or maybe just crazy guy in the middle of the road, in front of a stationary pickup or SUV that was blocking the intersection.  As I approached, I got a better look at the guy in the road.  He was wearing an old light blue parka style coat.  As I passed them, I got a better look at him than I wanted.  The moon was out early that afternoon…  Beneath the coat, his pants were hanging below his ass.  Apparently, he doesn’t dress in layers for the winter.  A siren blasted and an unmarked police car appeared out of nowhere.  I guess that’s why they’re unmarked, no?

Continuing along Broadway, I heard another siren blast.  I turned to see two women getting out of the unmarked police car and another unmarked car pulling up from the opposite direction, followed by a police cruiser.  A pretty impressive display of force for a guy whose pants were falling down.  I felt safer already.

After doing a good deed at the bank that caused me to wait far longer than necessary and, therefore, to begin to regret my own niceness, I headed back the same way.  One of those square police vans for prisoners – a modern version of the old paddy wagon, I guess – had joined the other three vehicles.  The guy was surrounded by cops.  I thought they were searching or cuffing him but, as I passed, I saw they were trying to keep his pants up.  One of the women grinned good humouredly as she put some kind of belt on him and told him that should hold them up.  She must have thought, “This isn’t what I signed up for”, before the pants were up.  I wonder who drew the short straw.

And not a taser in sight.

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7 Responses to “The Nuts Are Out”

  1. Cliff Burns Says:

    Fodder for short stories, mon, all these street characters and crazies had a little spice to our mundane lives, a little danger and zest. Have you read ZED by Vancouver writer Elizabeth McClung? Deals with just such people and is one of the best debut novels I’ve read in a long while…

  2. paulmct Says:

    Thanks for the comment and encouragement. I’m honoured that such an accomplished writer as yourself should take the time, or even notice an insignificant insect such as myself. I hadn’t really thought about short stories. Hmmm… I haven’t read ZED, but I may have passed through Elizabeth McClung’s blog a day or two ago. I’ll try to find it again.

  3. Cliff Burns Says:

    Your technical question re: blogs left me flummoxed. I’m not the techie in the family, I write the stuff and my wife tries to figure out how to make it work. Left to my own devices, I would very quickly turn my computer monitor into a goldfish bowl. Technology baffles me–maybe you could drop a line to the WordPress administrators, check out their FAQ?

    And, man, I’m NOT an accomplished writer, my 20+ year career has been an utter disaster. Check out my essay “The Solace of Fortitude” if you want a gruesome overview of my experiences in the publishing biz. It makes for funny (and scary) reading. You can find it in the Non-Fic section of my blog.
    But, beware, it might scare you away from the writing life FOREVER…

  4. paulmct Says:

    I guess ‘accomplished’ is a relative term. To me, you are an accomplished writer because you have accomplished things I have not. You’ve written several books and actually had them published. That is an accomplisment in itself. Better still, you have received positive, even effusive reviews on at least two continents. You are CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED WORLDWIDE! That is certainly an accomplishment. But you know all this because you list your accomplishments on your own site.

    Maybe you think ‘accomplished’ means financially successful. I have a feeling you have a love/hate relationship with the idea of success. If you were a best-selling author, you would probably call yourself a hack and wish you were a more original author and, therefore, more successful at writing. Just a thought. Maybe I’m wrong but, anyway, don’t be so hard on yourself.

  5. jackieamsden Says:

    It’s really too bad you didn’t have a camera….

  6. paulmct Says:

    Yes, that could have made an interesting accompaniment to the story. Another Vancouver moment. I like your pics and blogs. You let the camera do the talking on the one, with minimal text for context – a kind of photojournal. The other one, although aimed at young women, impresses me. I admire your strength and courage. Strangely, even though we haven’t met, I feel a little proud of you.

  7. anja merret - chatting to my generation » Blog Carnival of Observations on Life April 19, 2008 Says:

    […] of those days… Something funny happened on the way to the bank. paulmct presents The Nuts Are Out « Bloggin’ Off posted at Bloggin’ […]

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