Whisper Sweet Mortgages In Her Ear

How do you seduce a Vancouver woman?  Whisper sweet mortgages in her ear.  Every woman in the lower mainland of BC seems to want in on the property game and sees a man as a way to do it.

I met a woman in The Cascade a while ago.  Within a minute she was talking property.  She’d just returned to Vancouver from Ontario and was staying with her parents while she looked for a place to buy.  Then she asked me where I live.  When I told her she said something like, “That’s come up in the world lately, hasn’t it?”  She was starting to look on me as a potential real estate partner, which is all she really wants.

Sadly, this seems to be the primary purpose of the modern relationship here.  Feelings are secondary, at best.  With real estate prices going up and up, it takes two incomes to even dream of owning a home.  Even with two incomes, I wonder how some couples can afford to buy.  I guess they have to keep flipping them.  That reminds me, I hope the couple down the hall finishes their reno soon.  The noise is getting to me.

Vancouver has been the most expensive city in Canada to live in for most of the seven and a half years I’ve lived here and, based on what I’ve read, most of the last twenty to thirty years.  Unfortunately, we don’t have nearly the highest wages.  Employers aren’t exactly famous for their largesse.  So, women were in it for the money as it is.  Even a grocery store cashier who I always made laugh had to bring up the subject of money when I suggested we laugh somewhere else.  Sorry, not good enough.  Come to think of it, why can’t we turn the tables?  Where do you find rich women?  Where do they go for happy hour?

If this hasn’t happened in your city yet, get ready.  Vancouver is at the vanguard.  It brought you fusion cooking and mixed race couples.  Real estate partner relationships and marriages are next.

So, if you want to make her weak in the knees, lean in and whisper, “25 year variable rate closed…”  If you really want to show her you’re in it for the long haul, softly say, “40 year fixed rate closed”.  She’ll be yours and you’ll be in debt together until you’re old and wrinkly.

This post appears in the March 30, 2008 edition of the Carnival of Observations on Life.

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17 Responses to “Whisper Sweet Mortgages In Her Ear”

  1. Friday Free for All! | Vancouver Condo Info Says:

    […] juggling record debt loads -Whisper sweet mortgages in her ear -Riverview could house 30,000 -IMF: Canadas banks face more trouble -Bernanke: Economic […]

  2. san Says:

    Found this post through a link on vancouvercondo.info and it made both me and my husband chuckle. Your remarks on Vancouver real estate are sad and and true–and exceptionally funny. Nice blog!

  3. Strataman Says:

    I too found my way here thru a post in Vancouvercondo.info. A lot of truth to what you say. Heres one; Elevator respect and romance. As a consultant for many high rise condo’s I am often given a high security access fob which allows me to travel to the penthouse floors of many a building. (a lot of building equipment is above the penthouse floor). Once I enter the elevator if it happens to have ladies or especially real estate ladies ;I obviously fob the elevator scanner to access the penthouse. The lighting of the Penthouse floor button causes instant re-appraisal of me and conversation is then started with me! 🙂 The formerley detached stranger suddenly wants to be my best friend! There is visible dissappointment if I tell them I do maintenance consulting and don’t live there. Sometimes I don’t (tell) and leave them with hope! 🙂

  4. Drachen Says:

    “If this hasn’t happened in your city yet, get ready.”

    I doubt it. I know that, living in Vancouver it’s hard to believe but we’re pretty much the only place in the world where prices are still going up. 30% of recent home buyers and 10% of all mortgage holders in the US already owe more on their mortgage than their home is worth. What is actually on the horizon is Mortgage Divorce in Vancouver.

    “You can have the house, the kids, the cars, the clothes off my back, just PLEASE PLEASE take over the mortgage!”

  5. Christine Says:

    Let me guess… you’re single, right?

    I don’t suppose that would have anything to do with your reductive views on women. To suggest that the woman was talking about the local real estate market because she was looking on you “as a potential real estate partner, which is all she really wants” – rather than simply because the real estate market is on everybody’s lips these days – is fairly self-absorbed.

    You might be interested to check out the Straight’s Sex survey from last week – they found that Vancouver men were more likely than Vancouver women to have slept with someone for their wealth.

    So perhaps, to be fair, your post should be titled “Whisper Sweet nothings in his ear”.

  6. paulmct Says:

    san – Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.

    Strataman – You tease, you.

    Drachen – Ah, the old negative equity trap all over again. A couple years ago, people were telling me that real estate is the only investment you can’t lose money on; that it has never gone down in history. When I told them about the negative equity trap of the early 90s, they were totally clued out. Can’t afford to keep it, can’t afford to sell it. You may be right about mortgage divorce. Look for it in a headline near you.

    Christine – If it was an isolated incident, I’d concede your point. Sadly, it isn’t. If I had a loonie for every woman who asked me how much money I have or earn, I’d have to beat women off with a stick. As I mentioned, even a grocery store cashier, who clearly liked me and enjoyed my company, raised the subject of money. If you hear it often enough, you eventually reach the conclusion that they’re in it for the money. I’d go into more detail, but you’ve given me ideas for future posts so I’ll write about it in them. Thanks.

    As you can see by the other comments, I’m not alone in my observations.

    Thanks for pointing me to the Straight survey. It also gave me inspiration for some future posts. Thanks again and keep reading, if you’re not too repulsed.

  7. aetakeo Says:

    Considering that I have been the housing bear, and my husband’s workplace is filled with fellow white collar employees who keep impugning his manhood for remaining a renter, I would suggest that what looks like “everyone” depends on where you’re standing. He has also had similar conversations at conferences and the like.

    I am not quite ready to say that “All men look at owning real estate as part of their sexual portfolio”, because – and pay attention here – that thinking is the same sort of analysis error that says real estate will always go up. The fact being that marketplace forces are marketplace forces and herd mentality is herd mentality.

    Strataman attributes having the key fob to the Penthouse as meaning women speaking to him… value him for his money? Wish to get bizzy with his real estate?

    Whereas I can say (as a woman) for certain that I speak to people on the elevator if they happen to be going a long distance, but don’t speak to them if they’re only going up a floor or two. So therefore, Strataman and yourself would think I was interested in your real estate, when really, I’m being polite in a longer term social situation. Assuming that I was doing because of a penthouse fob due to economic forces rather than social ones is confirmation bias, and is part of both bubbles and being racist/sexist/homophobic/close-minded. It is simply sloppy, and a way of making other people the problem. That is what you have done, and you believe you have confirmation bias on your side; whereas what you have is your opinion, and a rough sampling of people you notice.

  8. aetakeo Says:

    Or: http://xkcd.com/385/

  9. Strataman Says:

    aetakeo Says: “but don’t speak to them if they’re only going up a floor or two.” True and your assumption that I am unaware of that is also “close minded” You also assume I am unaware of the differance between polite conversation, friendliness and just plain primate hierarchy. Believe me there is no interest with the individual women I speak of if I am going to a few floors below. Also I do not look “down” on this as it fits perfectly with the human primates genetically inherited social status. One only need to look at the differant response to a Penthouse or Porsche, from a 7th level condo to a chevy! Men have there own biases stuck primarily in the looks and sex appeal of the female they meet. I don’t see a problem..we are what we are! 🙂 Why deny what is in us for thousands of years? You can consciously direct it but to deny such preferances exist often leads to NO effort to REDIRECT primal urges.

  10. paulmct Says:

    aetakeo:

    I waited before replying to your comment because I wanted to step back a bit rather than fire off an angry response. I also took the opportunity to think about whether there was anything at all to what you said or implied about me (and Strataman).

    You don’t know the first thing about me. You read one post and assumed you knew all you had to. The most cursory of looks at this blog would have provided ample resources to find out more about me. A simple glance to the left of the screen would have revealed links to all my previous posts. In the top left corner you would have found links to pages labeled ‘About’ and ‘Introduction’. Oddly enough, these contain information about me and an introduction to this blog. I thought they would be logical, sensible places to put that information.

    If you had taken the time to read them before deciding who I am, you would have seen indications of an occasional tendency towards offbeat humour and a statement that “inevitably, subjective opinions will be expressed” and that they may challenge other peoples’ beliefs. It didn’t even bear mentioning that “…what you have is your opinion…”. Who’s opinion did you expect to find on my blog?

    The fact that you did not take the time to read any of them is simply sloppy, which you accused me of being. It also demonstrates that you selectively read what you wanted to see, to back up your preconceived notions and opinion. Isn’t that what they call ‘confirmation bias’? Hey, didn’t you accuse me, and one of my readers/commenters, of that, too? The cartoon link you posted also assumes that all men would generalize that all women are bad at math based on one woman being poor at it. More confirmation bias on your part.

    Next, your deliberate linking of this to racism, sexism, homophobia, and closed mindedness, suggesting that I am guilty of those attributes, is nothing short of unethical and insulting. Furthermore, I get the impression that you and another commenter are suggesting that I am a mysogynist. I am not.

    If you had taken the time to read the first comment on this post, you would have seen that it was written by a woman who said it was sad, but true, and funny. Oh, wait, I’m being a homophobe by assuming it’s a woman because the author mentioned a husband. It could be another man, now that gay marriage is established. So, I’ll clarify and state that I’m making a percentage call and assuming it’s a woman. Whatever the person is, they ‘got’ it. Apparently, you didn’t, or maybe you just don’t appreciate wry humour. That’s your prerogative, I suppose. But, in my *personal opinion*, I think you should develop a sense of humour. Do you have any idea how many articles have been posted by women that make fun of men’s ‘faults’ or ‘shortcomings’? Do I write angry comments accusing them of being shitty people? No.

    If you want more proof that women also hold such views, consider this: I included a line in the post that asked where rich women go for happy hour. This was inspired by a funny post I’d read that was written by a woman, about “happy hour whores” trying to get noticed by wealthy men. She and her largely female readers and commenters take it as a given that women are interested in men with money. I didn’t read it because it confirmed any pre-existing bias I had. I read it because it was funny and entertaining. I’ll post a link in the next comment so you can see I’m not making it up. As for my “reductive views on women”, as Christine put it, I wonder why women would reduce themselves to Barbies in this way.

    Finally, I do not select information that backs up my ingrained opinions. Rather, I develop opinions based on experiences, observations, and other information.

  11. paulmct Says:

    Here’s the link to the article I referred to:

    http://romi41.wordpress.com/2008/02/10/trophy-chicks-for-hire/

  12. Richmond BC real estate Says:

    Thank you for cheering me up! Anyway, the sad thing about this article is that even though it is funny, it is true. It is happening in my city as well. I work as a real estate agent in Richmond and I have watched house prices going up gradually over tha last few years. There are very few single people who are interested in buying a house for the reasons you mentioned in your article. You don’t have to be a genious to make your own opinion about the reason why it is so when you look at prices of e.g. Richmond BC real estate.

  13. C. Fraser Says:

    Nothing like some good old controversy to get the commenters out. I found your post humorous and enjoyed it. It’s an unfortunate fact, but as stated both men and women have a natural bias towards a certain type of partner.

    I know you won’t, but I’ll say it anyway —

    Don’t let ‘The Man’ dictate what you write! Opinions and free speech, baby!

  14. vreaa Says:

    paulmct:

    Thanks for linking this on the Vancouver Real Estate Archive ( VREAA).
    I have archived an excerpt here, hope that’s okay.
    In fact, notice that I started a new archive ‘bin’ especially for you, called ’20. Relationships & RE’.

  15. paulmct Says:

    Thanks, vreaa. Your site is a good idea.

  16. Mortgages For Women Says:

    Well, considering that recent stats show 20% of new mortgages are done by single women as opposed to just 9% for single men, looks like the women are finding ways to do it on their own 😉

  17. Sutton Member Program Says:

    Well, this was certainly a cute article, but is a reflection of human nature everywhere, I think.

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